Looking at the world through my eyes..
If you haven't the strength to impose your own terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers you...

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Everyday is a new day

Today I woke up feeling discouraged. Yet again the scale registered a gain. True it was only 1 pound. True it is not my regular weigh day, but as we know the scale has a magical pull, Though we may deny it, It calls to us. What it says can determine how the rest of our day goes. How we view life that day. A bad scale reading can turn your day into. I hate this house, I'm sick of my job, An entire montage of everything in our lives that we are unhappy about climbs onto the sucky merry-go-round of life and around and around we go. We think about how our friends will judge us. The former fatties, the still fatties, the non fatties, because lets face it,to us, everyone fits into one of those categories, they ALL judge whether they know it or not, admit it or not.  What is he/she doing wrong? Well if they're not losing clearly they aren't exercising enough, eating too much, not eating enough, overestimating what they're doing, not doing, to many carbs, not enough carbs, she ate chips yesterday, the cow! How dare she and say to me "I'm trying to lose weight"! The scale becomes those voices all rolled into one. Your ability, or inability to lose weight is tied to a wrongness in you. A sense of being weak, hopelessness and despair can ensue which of course makes everything worse..

But today, as I walked in the door of the gym, fought to keep my mind on track. (B.T.W. did you know when you don't focus and let your mind wander during exercise your HR drops! even if your body is moving at the same intensity as it was when you were focusing?) fought to keep the tears and the feelings of hopelessness, helplessness away. As I walked into work and read article after article, making plans to try new things. I realized I don't have to let the scale talk to me that way! I'll show that damn scale, my doctor, my friends, my family, you!! This is a new day! It's about me and my life. You don't know my story and you can't live it for me. The moment I got up and fought tears on my way to the gym, before I opened the door, before I climbed on the bike, before I ever got to work. I had won the battle!! I will keep fighting because everyday is a New Day! and battle by battle. I will win!

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